Confessions of a Desperate Mom

I am a great pregnant woman.  Aside from eating too many sweets, I follow the doctor's advice exactly.  I go so far as to adhere to the maybe's as well as the facts.  If tuna is questionable, no problem, I can give up anything for nine months.  The day I found out I was pregnant with Josie, I gave up my pack a day smoking habit, my gallon a day coffee habit and my pint (or five) a day Guiness habit.  My thought was that it's only nine months, why take a chance on anything that could harm the baby.  I kept up with a lot of mom sites where people write in about their woes and other moms support them.  I never understood the 'I made it down to 5 cigarettes a day' moms and the moms who supported them.  There were also lots of 'I just can't give up my coffee...it gives me a headache' moms.  You think your head hurts now, what's it going to feel like when that baby is born early, underweight and with ADD?  This is the first of many times to come where baby comes first!  It's ONLY 9 months!!!

When I carried Keegan, I was a little more relaxed.  I drank one cup of green tea a day.  Technically, the FDA recommendation is 150mg of caffeine a day which amounts to one cup of coffee.  Tea has about 50mg of caffeine and green tea has even less.  I have to admit, one of the reasons I cut out caffeinated beverages was to keep my conscience clean when I consumed mass amounts of chocolate which also contains caffeine, about 30mg for a 2 ounce dark chocolate bar.

With both babies, I was very strict about the fish thing.  I know there are certain allowable fish but I could never keep them straight.  I cut out fish entirely for both pregnancies.  However, with both children I did have a one time only serious crab feast.  I grew up on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, how could I deny myself?  I called my midwife from the crab house and asked if it was okay.  She started flipping through books to find blue crabs on her list.  They were safe! Yes!!!  I probably would have indulged anyway.  I also pigged out on clams.  During Keegan's pregnancy, I bought a bunch of clams to cook on the grill, knowing that Kevin didn't like them.  I had to eat them all myself because we didn't want them to go to waste.  With both kids, I craved tuna melts and I knew I couldn't give in.  This was the first meal I ate after giving birth, both times.  Kevin and I actually packed a cooler to take to the hospital with all the components for after the birth.  With Keegan, it was by chance but much appreciated.

I have to say, the hardest thing of all was giving up coffee.  I really enjoy the first cup of the day.  Being a baker and working crazy hours, I feel I need it to survive.  With Josie, I was scared to drink coffee because I thought it would be harder to stay nicotine clean.  Coffee and cigarettes just go together.  After she was born, I allowed myself one cup of good strong coffee early in the morning.  I was nursing and caffeine still passes through to the baby.  Now that Keegan's on board, I have a few cups of coffee a day.  He's a pretty good sleeper and he's much more calm than Josie ever was so I don't feel it does him any harm.  Leafy greens, however, make both of my kids puke buckets if I eat them and it passes through the breast milk.  I haven't enjoyed a salad in two years.

Back to the coffee...I take my coffee with milk, cold milk.  I hate getting a cup of coffee that is too hot to drink immediately.  Cold milk seems to solve the problem.  Having a toddler in the house means that we go through more milk than I ever could have imagined.  Kevin takes it in his coffee too and he drinks about 25 cups a day.  I would say we use about a gallon of milk a day or at least close to it.  We live 25 minutes from the closest grocery store so we have to be careful to have 'milka milka' for Josie's bedtime bottle and her wake up bottle on hand.  There are times we don't feel like driving into town in the evening so we make sure there is enough for Josie and we plan on taking the trip first thing in the morning.  This means I don't get milk in my coffee and Kevin doesn't get milk in his.  For him, this means that he won't drink the coffee and he will be a total grump until he satisfies his need.  For me, I get creative.  This morning, I stirred whipped cream into my cup.  It's the Cabot kind that is actual cream and not who-knows-what chemical concoction.  I used the last of the bottle and my coffee wasn't quite light enough.  There's peppermint ice cream in the freezer...that may be yummy.  Here's the big confession, there's gallons of breast milk in the freezer, why not?  I haven't tried it yet but I am seriously considering it for cup  #2.  If it weren't my breast milk, it would be in my coffee right now but there's something weird about drinking my own milk, maybe it's just me.   I can't be the only mom, right?  There's got to be a few out there who have already resorted to this.  Let me know if it's you and I'll keep you posted on my desperation level.